


Gallery surprises

by cherrygoldlove



Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Accidental Watersports, Anal Sex, Bickering, Bottom Q, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Mpreg, One Night Stands, Top James Bond, a drabble that grew to six thousand words, slight crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-20 03:15:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10653768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherrygoldlove/pseuds/cherrygoldlove
Summary: A meeting in the gallery brings Bond more surprises than he was ready for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> See the pic that inspired this fic (yes, my creation too xD) - [ here ](https://cherrygoldlove.tumblr.com/post/159572435773/meeting-in-the-gallery-had-more-surprises)

Q spotted him across the bar - tall, blond, serious looking and sharply dressed. Just his type.

He wasn't looking for romance, he was looking for a really good fuck, preferably all night long and for the guy to be gone in the morning. Starting work in MI6’s Qbranch in two day's time, he really didn't need any complications a relationship could bring.

Judging by the timetable and the short walk through the department he was given, he was made well aware that free time would be a luxury not available to him for the foreseeable future.

Sending a smouldering look the blond’s way, he zeroed in on his target for the night.

*

His back connected hard with the wall in his apartment corridor pushing the breath out of his lungs as the blond, James, he said his name was, flattened him against it with his muscular body.

They didn't even finish their drinks before the blond was dragging them out of the bar and into a posh, expensive aston martin. That made his already weak knees weaken even more. He liked a guy with a good taste in cars.

Gasping when he was bodily lifted up by his arse, he wrapped himself around his lover for the night and with a voice muffled with insistent kisses told the blond the way to his bedroom.

*

Hours later, lounging tired on the bed he watched James walk around the bedroom picking up clothes. Admiring the man's well sculptured body and shapely arse, he thought on all the wickedly good things that body did to his own.

James was an exquisite lover. Very considerate, giving but intense and self assured and just that bit egotistical to make it unbearably hot for him.

He ached in all the right places now and didn't look forward to sitting any time soon, but still a part of him wasn't yet totally sated.

Rolling to his back, the bedsheets sliding of his body, he spread his legs bent at the knees and reached between to play with his loose, wet hole while sending James a look. 

The man was on him again in seconds.

*

In the weeks that followed he almost forgot that night of debauchery, immersed in his new work which he found fascinating. Alright, maybe not forgotten completely, he still jerked off to the memories much too often than he'd be comfortable to admit. 

James woke him up in the early hours of the morning with a soft kiss to his lips and a thank you whispered against his mouth and then he left. No notes, no phone numbers, no promises.

Just how he wanted it all to go, James just a fleeting memory.

But a month later nueasca appeared, couple dizzy spells and one epic fainting and boom, he found out he was pregnant.

To this day he didn't really know why he decided to keep the baby.

*

He was having a baby without a father.

It wasn't easy or nice to explain, the society still biased, but he pushed through.

From time to time he wondered if he should find the mysterious blond, at least to tell the man and give him a choice to be involved or not.

But he told himself no.

They weren't in love, James didn't owe him anything. They agreed on no strings attached one night stand, and this? This was strings. He didn't want to force it on the other man.

Soon his colleagues grew sympathetic, helping him out with day to day tasks as he climbed the ladder of the Qbranch, soon becoming the second in command - youngest and fastest promotion in all the MI6 history. Fact made even more surprising as he was also almost six months pregnant then.

He felt proud of himself.

*

Then MI6 blew up and he found himself head of the department.

Being woken up and called in on his day off wasn't a new or sporadic thing to happen, so he got up, noting how it got harder and harder to do each single day since he hit his growth spurt, got dressed in clothes that almost didn't fit anymore and went on his way to work.

Only to stop short when he saw the smouldering building.

From there things went fast.

He was picked up by Tanner, brought to M, interrogated (that's what he'll call this job interview till the end of his life, because that's how it felt) and before he knew it, he was Q.

He moved his branch to the tunnels, organised the work flow as much as he was able to when everything was in such disarray still and took over all 00 missions.

That's when he got the one agent file he was missing. 007, commander James Bond, Her Majesty's most unruly agent, MIA till recently.

He blanched when he saw the face of his one night stand lover looking at him from the file, the blue eyes boring into him.

What were the odds?

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he put the file away to read it in peace later, preferably from to comfort of his warm bed and think how to approach this situation.

Should he be upfront about it?

Should he deny that it was his baby?

The chances of avoiding meeting the agent for the next three months were rather slim, so he had to be ready to meet the man.

Rubbing his round stomach, he got up from his office chair and went to inspect the works of his minions to take his mind off of the whole James situation.

*

A week later, bundled in his parka he made his way towards the national gallery to meet again his one night stand and send the man away on a mission.

Maybe it was for the best they'd meet in a public place and with a short time frame available for them to talk in to spare them long, difficult conversations and outbursts.

He decided to be open about his pregnancy and the paternity of his baby, but not to imply in any form that he expected any kind of support from the blond.

Head held high, confident and relaxed, he walked into the room he spotted the blond in. After all, it wasn't him to get such a big surprise today.

As he walked closer, just as he was about to sit down, he saw James’ head turn towards him, blue eyes first narrowed in recognition and then grew big and shocked as the man swiped his form from head to toe and then back to his rounded middle.

He sat down next to the man, not looking at him, a small smile playing on his lips as the agent's eyes remained glued to his belly.

“Please tell me you just had a big lunch…” 

Q couldn't help a little chuckle.

“No such luck. Six months along. Yours.” He stated lightly, but seriously.

The blond looked back to the painting in front of them, shocked speechless it seemed. They sat in silence for a long moment before the agent moved to get up.

“Please excuse me for a sec-”

“Not so fast double oh seven.” He stopped the blond with a pleased smile. It wasn't everyday that someone could catch the double-oh seven by surprise twice in the span of couple of minutes.

The blond made a sound between gasp and a groan as he settled back down.

“How do you know my designator?”

“I'm your new quartermaster.”

“You must be joking…”

“Why, because I'm not wearing a lab coat?” he teased with a smirk.

“Because you still have spots. And are six months pregnant for God's sake.”

“My complexion is hardly relevant and pregnancy is not a disability.”

“Well, your competence is. You couldn't even use contraception well enough not to get up the duff from a one night stand.”

“It takes two, you know? Condoms break and some people should learn to check them regularly and inform their partners. So you see? Age is no guarantee of efficiency.”

“And youth is no guarantee of innovation it seems. What happened to taking pills and shots?”

“They mess with my head. Still, pregnant or not, young or not, I’ll hazard I can do more damage on my laptop sitting in my pajamas before my first cup of Earl Grey than you can do in a year in the field.”

“Oh, so why do you need me?” 

“Every now and then a trigger has to be pulled.”

“Or not pulled. It's hard to know which in your pajamas.” the blond gave him a leveled look before he reached out his hand, willing to be professional.

“Remy.”

“Q, please, 007.” he shook the agent's hand and then reached to the inside pocket of his parka pulling out an envelope. “Documentation and passport.”

James took it, unhurriedly.

“What about the… “ he made a vague move in the direction of Q's stomach.

“Get the idea settled in your head and let's talk when you'll come back from Shanghai.” It was obvious the man was shaken, he only hoped it won't influence or intervene with the mission. “I don't expect anything from you, nor do I want to forbid you anything. The only thing is that we'll probably have to do some HR paperwork as this does influence our working relationship, either way.”

The answer seemed to placate the blond and Q managed to finish the mission brief, giving away the gun and the radio, the touch of their fingertips electric.

He was about to stand up when James stalled his moves, placing his big palm over Q's hand resting on the bench between them.

“Can I… touch?”

He hesitated. No one save the doctor has touched his stomach so far.

Then with a smile he conceded and moved the parka a little bit further apart showing his rounded tummy dressed in a white button down shirt, his tie folding and twisting on top of his bump. He tried to dress well for today's meeting.

“Alright.” 

James hand was warm and hesitant as it was pressed into his rounded middle, gentle, blue eyes following his own movement.

“It's alright, you won't hurt us.” Q lifted up his own hand and covering the blond’s palm with his own, pressed more surely. That's when the baby decided to kick hard and Q swore he felt James jump slightly next to him. “It seems he knows you.”

“He?” Blue eyes lifted up to his stare into his own.

“Yes, it's a boy.” 

Q let his hand slide of to his lap, James’ making delicate rubbing motions for a moment longer before he too backed away, but kept his blue eyes on the swell.

Giving him a moment longer, Q just sat there and smiled warmly before getting up with difficulty.

“Please bring back all the *equipment* undamaged and in one piece. We can go bare this time if you do. I'm feeling quite horny nowadays.” and with a soucy wink, he turned and left, leaving a shaken and bewildered agent behind him.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the popular demand - chapter 2 :D
> 
> Thank you all for the amazing commentsand feedback! Much appreciated and very very motivating! Luv ya all!

At first it was quite nice when over the next couple of days he started to notice best selections of chocolates, healthy snacks and freshly pressed juices (as he stopped to drink his favourite Earl Grey some time ago by the doctor's orders) appearing as if by magic on his work bench and table in his private office. Then his chair was exchanged for a wider, softer version. 

And couple days later he came into his little office space to find a big, fluffy, cream colored sofa standing in one corner, a complimentary blanket thrown over one side.

“Baby daddy finally decided to step up?” He heard Moneypenny's voice behind his back.

“Seems so.” He replied, not really knowing what to think about it.

But couple of days later, when his sunday breakfast was interrupted by two delivery men carrying boxes and bags into his apartment, he decided it was time to draw a line.

The men started unpacking stuff, looking apologetic and not a little bit scared seeing Q's stormy face, as Q went to fetch his laptop, pushing the comm link to his ear as he logged into his MI6 server to call in on a certain agent. 

“007.” Came a gruff, sleepy voice.

“Didn't I tell you to mind your own business until you come back from Shanghai and we talk? I am more than capable of taking care of myself. I don't need nor want coddling. And whichever of my minions you terrorised, they're all starting to tiptoe around me now! I can't run a department that's suddenly scared to make me upset and all they care about is if my feet hurt again! You might not know me, but I gained their respect and commanded their obedience just fine before your Neanderthal head decided to mess with the perfect work balance I had going.”

The comm was silent, Bond it seemed, wisely kept his mouth shut and let him rant.

“Thank you for your gifts and care, but that's enough, James.”

“Yes, sir.” The gruff voice replied, kind of sad and resigned.

Q looked around his apartment, the men bowing their heads and quickly going out, faces relieved and he sqowled. 

So he had a short temper now, so what.

“What's that pink monstrosity that just got carried into my apartment?”

“A maternity pillow… it helps support your… the bump.” The voice was hesitant, each word pronounced almost hesitantly.

Q harrumphed. He wanted to get one of those soon, sleeping was becoming uncomfortable lately.

“Thank you. Go back to sleep. And behave.”

“Good night, Remy.”

Line disconnected and Q scowled at his laptop.

Ugh that man.

*

Bond was applying shaving cream to his face when he heard some noise outside of his room.

He came to the doors carefully, gun drawn.

“Room service.”

When the person spoke, he relaxed and smiled, though feeling a little disappointed.

“I didn't order any.” He said, opening the doors and letting in Eve. “Even you.”

The blasted woman smiled brightly seeing his sour face.

“I've got some new information.” She sauntered in, closing the doors behind her.

“Aren't you a little overqualified to be delivering messages?” he returned to the mirror, putting a straight razor to his cheek, making the first swipe over his scruffy cheek.

“It's all part of the learning curve. And it's unadvisable to let Q fly in his current condition. A condition I'm quite sure you helped to achieve.” 

Bond nicked his skin in surprise, cursing under his breath.

“Here.” Eve came to him, handing over a tissue.

“You're being very obvious for a man who wants to keep a secret. You're losing your touch.”

Bond didn't comment. No use giving the harpy more weapons.

“And really? Swarming him with gifts and terrorising his minions? You've been out of the country for much too long if you forgot how he was and that this was the easiest way to insult him.”

“I don't _know_ him, Eve.”

“What?” That made her stop short.

She tapped her foot impatiently when he refused to continue, instead, turning back to the mirror to finish his shaving. 

Once done,he turned back to her.

“I don't know him. We met at a bar, it was a one night stand.”

Eve's eyes widened.

*

That man is infuriating!

That cheeky, self assured, cocky… and he totally humiliated himself in front of that man. A rooky, also cock-sure slip, and now they had a rat on the run in the subterranean London.

“There's service door on your left.” he commandeered over the comms, trying to make his voice steady and sure.

“Got it.” thudding sounds came through the comms. “It won't open.”

“It will. Put your back into it. We both know you're just too good at that.” he couldn't help the unprofessional snark.

“Why don't you come down here and let me put my back into it again then?”

“I tried to invite you over just yesterday, but guess who fell asleep in the middle of the call?”

Bond just grunted unhappily in answer. 

Q straightened up, prodding his glasses further up his nose. There goes his professionalism at his workplace. And still no sex.

*

M is dead and his career is probably over, despite the figurative pat on the back from Mallory when he and Tanner were laying the trail for Silva to follow.

He's wrapped in a navy blue, incredibly soft blanket (one of Bond's gifts), the maternity pillow tucked around his body supporting his belly and propping up his right knee as he laid on the bed on his left side, nursing a hot cocoa and probably for the first time since he got pregnant he felt truly alone and lonely. 

He chased this feeling away before by going out to find a warm body to keep of the chill of lonely nights, but with a fluttering baby in his swollen stomach, that was no longer a possibility.

Bond was back in London from what he heard from Tanner, but Remy was hesitant to reach out to the blond man. They were almost strangers to each other, he felt it was not his place to console the grieving agent.

And well, he was no longer really alone.

Placing the half empty mug on the bedside table he moved both of his hands to his belly, rubbing circles into the stretched skin until he felt sleep claim him.

He woke up with a start when he felt the bed dip, heavy warm arms winding around his middle. He tried to jerk away and simultaneously look over his shoulder at the intruder, and in the corner of his eye he caught the short blond hair and blue eyes.

“James?”

“I'm sorry to startle you.” The man said softly, whiskey heavy on his breath. “Can I… I need to hold you. Just like this. Please?”

Heart still pounding Q tried to settle back down.

After a moment reaching back and making James snuggle closer, patting him on his side or arse, he wasn't really sure what he was reaching. When the blond was in position, he tugged his arm firmly around his middle, resting the open palm on his stomach and covering it with his own.

Maybe, just maybe he could get used to it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You people are awesome!  
> Love and cuddles to you all for all the motivating comments that fuel my muse! :D

In the morning, the infuriating man was gone again.

Q vaguely remembers being woken up with a kiss and a blanket being tugged over his shoulder more securely, and the next thing he knows everyone is talking about James’ exploits in Mexico.

It's not like he expected the blond to stay in the country now that he found out about the baby, but some warning would be appreciated.

*

“Q wasn't exactly feeling at home in Whitehall, what with the new merger, so he set up shop here, away from prying eyes, as it were.” Tanner was guiding him to the tunnels in the undergrounds of MI6 and Bond had a feeling he was led for slaughter with the amount of evil looks the man was sending his way. Prying eyes indeed, heavily pregnant the brunet was an easier target than usually. “I hear he's got something rather special planned for you.”

Definitely slaughter. But he wasn’t quite sure what he did wrong this time besides getting the MI6 darling boffin pregnant out of wedlock.

“I can hardly wait...”

*

“Ah, 007.” Q looked up from his workbench, an evilly pleasant smile playing on the thin cherry red lips.

“Q.” he nodded warily.

*

Bond was led into another room and sat down in a chair, his right arm bared and held down in a weird contraption.

“You might feel a slight… “ Q warned, pushing down the the syringe “prick.”

Bond jumped and cursed loudly “Christ!“ He breathed through his teeth riding out the pain. So that’s what this all was about. “You know I didn't mean it like that, it was… A slip of the tongue.”

“Oh really? Calling your quartermaster a little prick for chasing your stupid, non-reporting-in arse when you go AWOL a slip of the tongue?”

Not seeing a way to win this argument, Bond changed the topic.. 

“What is it?” he motioned to the monitors.

“Cutting-edge nanotechnology. Smart Blood. Microchips in your bloodstream. Allows us to track your movements in the field. You see those readouts? We can monitor your vital signs from anywhere on the planet.” The boffin’s smile was positively vicious now.

“Well, that sounds marvelous.” _oh shit._

“Call it a post-Mexico insurance policy. By direct order of M.”

“I’m sure it was.”

*

Q woke up to the feeling of lips on his neck.

“I'm sorry.”

“No, you're not, so cease with the play pretend.” He grumbled out.”And weren’t you supposed to disappear for some time right about now?”

James breathed out deeply, rolling away. “Change of plans.”

Q shivered feeling the cooled air on his back, grumpily, he looked back at the blond in his bed speculatively.

“If you're already back there you might at least prove useful.”

“Your lower back's aching again?”

“In a way yes. You can't imagine how horny I've been today again, I swear I felt like i was gaping and dripping, that's how much I wanted a fat cock in me.” 

James chuckled, moving closer again, lips back on his shoulder, nipping gently.

“No, no, no, i don't need nor want foreplay, straight to fucking please. Lube’s in the drawer on your side of the bed.”

With last teasing nip to his neck, Bond moved to do his bidding and soon Q mewled happily, writhing on two thick, wet fingers working his hole open.

*

“Ow, ow, ow, no, don't, my hips.”

*

“Oh come on you old man, put your back into it i can barely feel you dicking me.”

*

“You’re five months too late to have me on my back. Stop complaining and start fu-ohhh that's good.”

*

“Let me ride it, you clearly don't know what you're doing with your cock. Such a shame.”

Bond groaned slipping out and rolling to his back obediently.

“You weren't that mouthy when we first fucked.”

“I wasn't up the duff at that time, was I? And who's fault is it?”

Bond opened his mouth to argue, but quickly shut it back up seeing Q's stroppy face.

“That's what I thought. Now be good lad and help me climb aboard.” Q giggled at his own little joke, bending in half as much as he was able to now.

Wisely continuing his silence, James did just that, hands wrapped firmly around Q's hips, guiding them up slowly.

*

“Ohhhh, yes, yes, so close, bloody hell, your cock’s a miracle workerrrrr...ohh..”

*

“You done yet? I need to pee.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, just tighten up that cunt and shut up for a second, will you? I'm almost there, not easy with you yappi-” Q squeezed hard his anal muscles. “Oh fuckkkk yessss.”

*

Bond came down from his high to a warm, wet feeling all over his stomach.

“Tell me you didn't just piss on me…”

“I told you I needed to pee…” Q felt mildly embarrassed. “Your baby was bouncing on my bladder as I was bouncing on your c-”

“Stop. Never mind. Just… get up, come on, to the shower with you.”

*

“Morning.” Bleary eyed, Q waddled into his department the next morning. He was achy and sleepy and of course he yet again fully woke up to an empty bed, the blond pressing a kiss to his mouth sometime around sunrise as he left, Q not really aware of the outside world yet.

“009 has arrived to pick up the DB10, sir. He's waiting upstairs.” one of his minions reported.

“Oh, good. Yes, fine.” he made his way up to his office, on the way looking into the garage.

The DB10 was missing and in it’s place sat a big, stuffed teddy bear.

“Oh, you little shit! Booonddddd!!!”


	4. Chapter 4

“Why are you here, Q? You shouldn't be traveling now.”

Bond turned sharply to the side as he heard and registered the boffin walking up to rest next to him by the counter of the bar, middle-of-snowy nowhere, Austria.

“Oh, I just fancied a break, to be honest. I've been a tad stressed at work recently and it's not good for the baby or so they say. What with C's people crawling all over us and the fact that M wants my balls for Christmas decorations and my baby daddy fucks me and leaves me again. Waking up all alone and sore, pleasantly mind you, in an empty, cold bed is far from being ni-”

“Get to the point.”

“The point, 007, is that you need to make up your bloody mind and either pursue our relationship or stop messing with my head and hormones and stay the bloody fuck away!”

“If you hadn’t noticed, I tried. Look around you, not exactly London is it now?”

Q’s lip wobbled for couple precious seconds while Bond’s eyes grew big and worried, hands going up in the world know placating movement. He and his big mouth, bickering was in his blood and most of the time he didn’t mean what he said and a crying Remy wasn’t exactly what he knew how to deal with…

But then Q gave himself a mental shake, squared his shoulders and looked coldly at Bond.

“Fine then. Franz Oberhauser is dead. Dead and buried. And unless you come back with me right now, my career and Moneypenny's will go the same way. Do you understand? All hell is breaking loose out there and…”

“I saw him.”

“You thought you saw him. You’re old, eyesight going bad and you might suffer from hallucinations based on the fact of how many times you got your crooked nose smashed into your dumb face. We've been through the records. He died in an avalanche with his father 20 years ago.” 

“Yes. I know that. But I saw him. He's not someone I'll ever forget.”

“So you have a lead?” 

“I have a name. L'Amricain.” 

“Oh wow. Well, that narrows it down. Look, I'm sorry, 007, but time's up. My whole career is on the line here and by proxy the future of **my** child. Either you come back in and do this through proper channels, or I go directly to M. And I’m sure Tanner and Eve will be only much too happy to haul your sorry ass back in line.”

“Do one more thing for me. Then you're out. You're due maternity leave soon either way, aren't you? You look like a whal-” Q's eyes narrowed, and Bond swallowed the word down. “A while away would do you good. To rest.”

Q's look is scathing, but brightens a bit when he sees Bond pull out a ring.

The brunet’s eyes tear up a bit, a little happy smile starting to bloom on his face when he's presented the ring. It's kind of plain, boring, with some weird drawing on it but he's not that picky, he can bully the blond into buying him a better one after-

“N-no, it’s… not that.” James’ voice is weirdly high, scared. _stupid, stupiiid_ he berates himself in his mind.“I, uh, can you find out what you can from this?”

The green gaze grew glacier cold as Q’s face shuts down again.

“I really, really hate you right now.”

“Thank you, Q. And, I’m s-“

Q grabs the ring and turns abruptly, furiously waddling away and not looking back. It’s… a funny and endearing view.

“Where are you staying?” Bond calls out.

“The Pevsner. Room 12. You have one hour and then I’m gone. And you forget where I live.”

*

“Dr. Swann, Q. Q, Dr. Swann.“ 

Q opens the doors to not only Bond but some blond bimbo too and he's torn between anger, disappointment and… pure sadness. With all their bickering and sporadic meetups he still thought they'd get somewhere, together. But it seems Bond was fast in finding another warm body.

“Hello.” Says the slim, not heavily pregnant, pouty lipped bint. Did he mention *blond*? How much cliché sexy can she be?

“Enchanted.” he manages to squeeze through his teeth.

“Bond, we need to talk. Alone.” he had a bit of a think and decided they needed to finally talk about some rules of engagement, because he really was up to his ears with the emotional rollercoaster. 

“She knows.”

That stops Q in his step for a moment.

“You told her? About everything and how irresponsible you are and the b-”

“She knows.”

And she still decided to mingle with the likes of Bond? Homebreaker. He will not acknowledge any step siblings to his child, that's for sure.

He bit his lips and concentrated back on the work at hand.

*

“Ughh yess, just like that, oh fuckkk…” Bent over the sink in the bathroom, trousers around his ankles and his hips held gently yet steadily as Bond pounded him from the back, Q wondered where his sanity went.

“One good thing out of that stuck up cunt, she taugh you how to fuuuckkkk ohhhh.”

“Stop talking.” Bond panted out, exasperated. He saw the broken look on Q's face when he opened the door to them and he regretted the jump straight to work conversation so once they hashed everything out, he dragged Q to the bathroom to have a private talk and clear up a couple things. He's not quite sure how their angry spat turned into fucking against the sink. “She’s just outside.”

“Ohhhh yess, of course you care about her even while you have your cock in me. You bloody bastard!” he exclaimed at the end, feeling James’ hand wrap tight around his straining erection, giving it a nice twist and pull. “Yeah, get me off quickly, my legs wont hold me up much longer, and you can’t even pinpoint my prostate and they called you a sharpshooter. How do you ever manage to hit your marks? You’re definitely no sniper materia-ohhh finally!”

“If you ran like your mouth, you'd be in a good shape.” James seeths through his teeth, taking his hand off the slim cock it was jacking off just seconds ago as he rotates his hips and changes the angle of the penetration to hit the boffin’s sweet spot dead on with every thrust. He’ll show him good sex.

*

Waddling around hacking weird programs from cheap shit computers, getting shot at and seeing the building that his baby daddy was in only minutes ago go up in flames just to see the man safe and sound walking away from him not an hour later, on that stupid bridge, with that stupid hoe was just way too much for the boffin’s fragile health at this moment. 

Shutting all and every communication with the outside world, Q closed himself off in his little apartment with a big box of chinese takeaway, three types of pizzas and package of ice cream. 

Fuck them all.

*

Couple days later, grumpy and achy, he sat in one of his department rooms working on a bit of tech.

It wasn't much, it wasn't fancy, it was… the only thing besides lego his minions allowed him to touch now when he was eight months pregnant. Damn them all.

Even Eve started to tiptoe around him and treat him as an overgrown baby. Or a weepy, angry bomb soon to explode. In more ways than one.

Startled, he looked up from his toys when he heard the doors to the big lift slide apart.

And there he was.

Dressed to the nines, looking sharp and rested and as sexy as ever, strolling slowly towards Q's desk.

Q's mouth turned into a downward pout.

The bastard.

Two weeks of being AWOL again, not a word in the meantime.

Face set in a scowl, Q lifted up his chin proudly to face the double-oh-swine as the blond walked around his desk to be on the same side with the boffin.

“There's just one more thing I need…” 

And he dropped to his knees, this time holding out a big ass diamond gold ring.

Green eyes speculatively roamed around the view in front of him.

“No.” He said and turned around.

“No?” The blond asked baffled.

“No, 007. Now go away, I'm busy.”

“What? But, Q, I-”

“-spent the last two weeks without a word to me fucking that blond bimbo. What? She threw you out? Got bored of pussy?”

Bond got up from his knees, grumbling under his breath.

“What? I am sorry but, I could not hear you over the sound of my internal hope you would finally fuck off and disappear again.”

“I had an early morning meeting with a realtor, and then she pushed me into a meeting with an interior designer, because I apparently have no style, and-” 

“It’s truly sad you have more dick in your personality than in your pants…” Q broke him off with a hurt expression on his face. “Coming here, proposing, after you got scared of moving in together with that blond bimbo! Listen, the fact that I’m pre-”

“Blond? And I’m not scared, why would I be doing all that if I didn’t want it?”

“... Doing what exactly?”

“I- I got us that apartment Eve said you were moaning about, and then she had me organise the nursery as she said you had nothing ready. Then I had the Q-branch istall you a mini headquarters so you’ll be able to work from home in your pajamas as apparently you’re so productive then. They should be finished by now with it now, and in the next hour your stuff should also be there so when we come back from the Alain Ducasse at the Dorchester - I got us the table Lumière - then we-”

“Bond.” Q interrupted the story, hand going up to rub at his face in exasperation.

“Yes?”

“When exactly did you plan to involve me in this… plan?”

“What do you mean, I said there’s just one more thing I need, didn’t I?”

Getting up to his feet Q stalked up to the blond.

“You’re so frustrating! Exasperating! I hate y-umph.”

Bond kissed him, cradling him close and Q felt his anger melt away.

“So, it’s a yes?”

“...yes.”

*

“Ughhh!!! You’re never ever ever putting your cock in me! Of course your child would end up being a big headed buffoon like his daddyyyy oh sweet motherboard it hurtssss…”

Bond couldn’t help a proud happy smile at being called a daddy even if just a second later his eyes teared up in pain as Q’s hand shoot out looking for purchase and squeezed hard around his crotch.

*

“It’s not as hard as it looks, Bond. Take nappy off, clean up the mess, put a fresh one on. Instructions to each step are printed out and on the wall in front of you so get on with it. He’ll be hungry again in fifteen minutes so please change him before then.”

Ten minutes later, Q was leaning over his newborn, fresh nappy in place.

“I’m sorry, love, that your daddy is such a weakling.” he complained to the giggling boy as he tickled the round tummy. Picking up the child and leaning him over his shoulder he went to check in on the blond. “You’re done puking yet? Remember to clean up the bowl when you are. And here - you can throw it out to the bin too.” He said reaching out and presenting a neatly wrapped, used nappy to his husband making the man’s stomach turn again, fresh bile hitting the porcelain. 

Q walked off snickering. Sweet, sweet revenge for all his months of morning sickness

 

 

 

*end*

 

 

 

_* ELEVEN MONTHS LATER *_

Handing over the squirming, crying bundle over to James, Q said sounding scared "Here, you deal with it, you have more experience with females." 

He's not sure if he's more upset or amazed when the little girl settles almost instantly in her father's arms.

"Of course she'd be a daddy's girl, damn you Bond." 

And then he starts to weep and Bond panics, trying to console his lover and not disturb the newborn in his arms.


End file.
